Okay, of the previous versions last posted, #6 and #7 were the two the majority preferred. So I’ve attempted to blend the two and make …
Version 9
Nothing in life comes easy for Veng. He’s unnatural, a product of genetic manipulation. Leading a sheltered life as a young man, he was raised on fairytales and the belief they are possible. All that changes when he becomes a Rogue and is forced to endure the occasional possession by Lorric, the God of Lust.
Crowned king of the feared Rogues and forced into adapting to a lifetime on the run from those who would kill him, Veng’s belief in love is all that’s left of the once innocent boy. Until he meets Lasil. Protecting her rekindles his old ideals and it isn’t long before he falls in love.
But there are few happy endings for Rogues, especially when loving Lasil comes at the price of his soul.
Lorric isn’t pleased with losing Veng or his soul and has Lasil kidnapped. Now, unless Veng can accept his true nature, cross an entire country of people who want nothing more than to see him dead, and face down a god hell-bent on destroying him, he will lose everything he’s ever loved.
THE ROGUE KING is a science fantasy told through the point of view of Veng, Lasil and their son. At 199,000 words, and written to stand on its own, it is the first in a proposed duo.
Thank you for your time.
Aldrea Alien 
*big round of applause!* I think this sounds great! I'm no query expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I think it hooks, it flows, and transitions nicely from plot point to plot point. Great job!
-Minion Mara
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Thank you. ^_^
I'm not surprised it took me until version nine, one of my other stories took eight versions to get this far. Although I swear that after a while, all the versions start to look the same.
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