Sticking with continuing on from last week’s snippet from my wip, To Target the Heart.
For those of you catching up… Darshan and Hamish are a pair of thirty-something princes from two vastly different lands who have both never been in a relationship before.
Darshan is the spellster ambassador from the ginormous Udynea Empire sent to negotiate trade relations with Tirglas. Whereas Hamish is the third eldest child of the Tirglasian queen who has been kept on a tight leash by his mother.
The prior sentence was: Hamish bit his lip, his mouth disappearing beneath his ruddy moustache as both it and his beard seemed to merge. Punctuation tweaked to fit.
“Dar…” The name escaped in a gentle puff of breath; soft and intimate, the sort of sound Darshan could listen to over and over. “I think I made meself pretty clear that what I prefer rarely comes into it.” So quiet, those words. “I always make the wrong choice.” So convinced and dejected.
That simply won’t do. If Darshan had been made of weaker stuff, maybe something inside would’ve cracked slightly; his chest did ache dreadfully, but it was an old sullen anger that bubbled in the depths. How dare they twist such a gentle man like Hamish and make him believe he couldn’t be trusted to do what felt right to him. The very nerve.
Don’t forget to check out the other excerpts at Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet Sunday or Rainbow Snippets.
Having staved off the idea of marrying a woman for years, Prince Hamish finds himself forced to face its realities when he becomes the prize in a contest of arms. But one contestant promises a way out. Can they win against all the odds?
Aww, his indignation makes me feel all warm and fuzzy (heart)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 😀
LikeLike
I know, the very nerve. 🙂 He is a wee bit perturbed, isn’t he? Great snippet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just a tad. 🙂
LikeLike
What a nice way to show that he cares about Hamish.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 🙂
LikeLike
Awww, what a lovely excerpt! I love the emotions going on here, terrific excerpt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. 🙂
LikeLike
I like how Darshan’s concerns went from trying to avoid trouble to what really matters; helping Hamish break free.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, and I forgot to sign up this week, but I did post an excerpt.
LikeLike
He didn’t need much of a push.
LikeLike
Great scene! Love the power and conviction in his feelings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 😀
LikeLike
I love the interaction and emotion with these characters.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. 🙂
LikeLike
How dear is this snippet. Keep it up, new friend
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww, thank you. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh so very much ‘wow’!!!! LOVE LOVE this snippet so much – Darshan is just amazing here, ‘the very nerve’ … seriously, made my day 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like Darshan’s going to shake things up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pretty sure Dar could do that by just breathing.
LikeLike
So well-written. The brogue is wonderful. And the emotions come through loud and clear. 🙂
LikeLike
Love Dar’s anger over what has been done to Hamish’s psyche.
LikeLike
Okay, I’m pretty sure you cracked *my* heart with that one. Great snippet, Aldrea.
LikeLike
Poor Hamish! 😦 Very nice snippet 🙂
LikeLike